Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Why I won't pursue witchcraft now

Yo, folks. Something I plan on talking about on my YouTube channel is my journey as trans. This is a given, sorta. This includes my history as an individual raised in Islam, specifically living as a girl raised in Islam. 

Anyway, eventually, I'll talk about my near-lifelong interest in witchcraft. At the moment, I'll just talk about the interest in it now.

I've done a wee bit more "research" into witchcraft and I have to say, I'm interested more than ever before. Thing is, my mental state is such that I can't focus on learning anything, let alone something as complex and worthy of attention like witchcraft. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

I adore witchcraft. I admit, I don't quite know what my path would be. While I do have an interest in pagan religions, religion isn't for me. In all honesty, I've kind of...distanced myself from religion since Islam messed me up so badly—or, rather, the way I was raised as a Muslim messed me up so badly.

I do know I am severely attracted to the ocean. I wonder if there was some way I could follow a path connected to it. That would put me at such peace, I cannot begin to explain... ๐Ÿ˜Š

I know, I know. A "sea witch". That has a cool ring to it...but I wonder if such a thing is even possible?? ๐Ÿ˜ถ

To reiterate, I'm not at a healthy place in my life where I can devote myself to witchcraft practice. I wish with all my being that I could start now, but all it would do would put so much pressure on me and I'd probably feel like even more of a failure if I didn't manage to do the things I wanted to do when I wanted to get it done.

It's enough like that now as it is...

The best I can do right now is watch videos about witchcraft, real witchcraft, and keep myself informed while also entertaining my tiny brain. ๐Ÿง  My poor, tiny brain...

While on the topic of witchcraft...

The witchcraft trend

As someone who admires and truly respects witchcraft, I cannot fucking stand the obsession and trend that (mostly) girls have today with "witchy" things. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I don't fucking care. 

I'll be the first to admit that I love buying witch-related things such as items with moons and crescents on them—and even wide-brimmed hats! "Witchy hats". I do like me a pointed hat...but I want to know the meaning of them before I wear them.

You know. Like a respectful person. ๐Ÿคจ

But these were things I wanted since I was a kid but were never so easily available to me, not because it's fucking trendy. It's more like a dream come true. So what I do for myself is take advantage of the situation before the trend goes away or some fucking shit like that. ๐Ÿ™„

At the end of the day, there's nothing I can do to prevent these people from calling themselves legit witches on their profiles and shit. Whatever. Do what you want.

Just...seriously?

Choices were made.

-:{๐ŸŽƒ}:-

Monday, October 11, 2021

Returning to GaiaOnline

Yo, folks! As I've returned to the social sphere, I've rekindled my 14-year-old—yes, fourteen years old—GaiaOnline account. I have learned some CSS since the last time I was on Gaia, so I managed to make my page match the rest of my profiles. ๐Ÿ˜ Very happy about that.

Anyway, what is my purpose on GaiaOnline? Just to have some fun, I suppose! It's the only place I can currently do so since all my other accounts are...waiting for content. 

Also, I have a blog on Gaia I plan to work on, maybe in 2022, alongside this one when I talk about music. Should be fun. It was something I used to do in 2007 but stopped a long time ago. Maybe 2008? 

...Wow.

Ah, the glory days of Gaia... ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

This is just a small social media update. ๐Ÿ™‚

-:{๐ŸŽƒ}:-

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Thoughts on making a newsletter

Yo, folks! I've been working on something in the background since I started my content creator journey. I don't know yet what it might be useful for but, anyway...

One Hallowed Digest

(The image is slightly...not symmetrical...)

A.k.a. Hallowed Digest. I've thought of it for a wee while. There's at the moment no real reason for it, I think. Ah, for one, I don't have any content. ๐Ÿ˜… So, while I do link to the archive here and there, there's nothing in it right now, as you can see. 

Again, what it'll be for, I'm not certain. But ideas I've thought of include using it as a way to update on some major things that people might not be signed up or following me in other places for, like this here blog for instance. If one decides to follow my newsletter but not my blog, at least they'll be informed on major updates and important things.

...It's an idea, you know?

I like being ahead of things, getting ready for whatever might come in the future. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

-:{๐ŸŽƒ}:-

Sunday, October 3, 2021

I want to reclaim my life

Yo, folks. As I plan to delve into the world of opening up online (again), and as I've been watching a lot of witchcraft videos of late, I've come to realize.

I want to reclaim my life.

This is nothing new.

I've tried before...

I lived a stifled, sheltered, negatively religious upbringing until I was around 20 years old. Nine years later, I'm still a lost soul in this fucked-up world and blame myself for it. Truly, I do. Not my parents, though I certainly could, but myself

I suffer from debilitating major depressive disorder. I'm trying to make myself better, but...I'm tired. I am truly, absolutely...tired. Tired of trying, tired of failing.

But.

I'm going to keep on, anyway. ๐Ÿ˜“ I hope...this time it is worth my while.

There are a few things I suppose I need to do before I can be "truly happy".

Whatever that means... ๐Ÿ˜’

Saturday, October 2, 2021

Thoughts on Patreon 2

This actually is about Patreon, this time.

Yo. I've looked into it and it has come to my attention that Patreon might not be the best platform to use for growing a future business in the...well, future. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

Apparently, Patreon has become kind of scummy as far as how they treat their creators on the platform. It seems like it's all about profit for them now instead of helping the creator rise. You'd have to be making an obscene amount of money to actually...be stable.

By now you should know that isn't my goal. I'm nobody. I have the worst self-esteem. I just want to enjoy myself for once, honestly, and if content creating does that for me, all power to me, right? 

The fact I'm even showing my face is just...such a fucking huge step...

Thing is, Patreon is very well-known around the world of indie creators, wouldn't you say? ๐Ÿค” This kind of puts me in a place where I can move to a place like Commiss.io, but that doesn't work in my mind. It seems to be more for literal commissions like artwork and such. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

So, for now, I'll stick to eventually building a platform with Patreon's help. If the platform becomes a problem for me in the future, I'll move...somewhere...but I have no idea where right now.

More research and another article will probably come in the future.

-:{๐ŸŽƒ}:-

Friday, October 1, 2021

Elian Hollow "vs." One Hollows' Eve

Yo! It has come to my attention that I use two different, and rarely, three different images online under my usernames/accounts/profiles. ๐Ÿคจ Now, this wasn't intentional. 

Originally, I was planning on just using this, my official and bigass ol' logo you see here. 

It was a simple thing, not meant to really go any further than that. But as time went on, I realized I needed to make maaaany changes...

And, oh, man. Changes I made.

Anyway, that aside, I also ended up mustering up the courage to take pictures of myself after...wow, years and years. I've uploaded a few on my Instagram page, and by the way, I've decided as of yesterday to officially QUIT DOING THAT since I took an even newer picture of myself and I realize I FUCKING HATE MY FATASS FACE. ๐Ÿ˜Š

*Ahem*

From these pics, two from four and three years ago and two from this year, I've decided to only upload, eh...one or two pics a year or so. 

...Maybe twice a month at the very least. ๐Ÿ™„

Oh, wait...I digress again.

What I'm trying to get to is, these two images of myself are different in that one completely shows my face. The other shows it but also hides my identity, as you can see below.

Eh... ๐Ÿ˜ฃ

...I've decided to use the left image for my "profile pics", or profiles and public accounts in which I use my name. The right image is for accounts that are under my moniker, One Hollows Eve.

Makes sense to me? ๐Ÿคจ

For instance, on my SpaceHey page, I don't go by One Hollows' Eve but Elian. I have two "profiles", if you will, on Patreon, and the one I currently link to is my user profile under my name. My actual Patreon page isn't active yet (and won't be for a looooong time) and, when it is, it will be under my moniker.

That should clear things up. 

I hereby declare this as...canon! *Thumps gavel* 

-:{๐ŸŽƒ}:-